Smokin’ Arses

Roll on July 1st when the smoking ban begins in public places in England and I no longer have to leave a pub stinking like an ashtray.

I absolutely hate smoking, it has too many connections to bad events in my life. As a result I’m acutely aware of a few junctions in my life where the decision I made was either directly because of, or heavily influenced by smoking (relationships I’ve avoided or finished, friends I’ve seen less of and lost contact with, etc.)

Sure I tolerate it most of the time, but as a non smoker I do find it offensive even having to follow somebody down the street breathing in their smoke (I wish it was also banned from public places outdoors too, but I doubt it is).

You may be thinking "It’s up to the individual if they want to smoke" and I couldn’t agree more. The last thing I want to do is enforce my view on everyone else, but by being close to me smoking you are not only forcing your "habit" on me, but also damaging my health at the same time.

Equally I could turn down a relationship with the most perfect girl in the world all because she’s a smoker. The obvious point to this is that she wasn’t really that perfect was she?

Which brings me onto another point: being with a smoker is nasty. You stink. Don’t think we can’t tell when you’re secretly smoking either. It may take a while for us to be sure and make certain we’re reading you right (rather than, for example, finding out you’re drinking far too much cheap coffee at work), but eventually when the time is right the relationship is doomed. Is that too harsh? No. It’s a hundred times easier than watching somebody you care about die slowly and in agony.

Naturally the new laws will be ignored by the retarded few, but hopefully public pressure will win out fairly quickly.

Now if only I had a gun to shoot people driving on mobile phones…